Today we celebrate Father’s Day. In many ways it has historically been a less celebrated day than others, however, I believe that we have the opportunity to give a special meaning, not only to the day in question, but to the bond that gives rise to the commemoration.
We know that there are many types of families, just as each one of them has its own style of upbringing, values, ways of relating to each other, etc. However, the role of the father (and the mother) has such an important place in the way we build ourselves as people. Psychology and, with special acuity, psychoanalysis have studied, reflected and written so much about the impact that our parents have on the person we are, on our tastes, frustrations, beliefs, life mission and so many other things that unconsciously accompany us today and, with certainty, will also follow us tomorrow.
That is why being parents is not only to have been part of the birth of a new person, but to be formers of someone who will build bonds, create their own stories, open (or close) paths and millions of options as uncertain as probable.
Personally, as a parent in love with the possibility of loving in such a way, I have become convinced that there is not so much to tell children, but rather to show them. But not a show of blackboard or speeches, but of embodying that which one longs for them to achieve and learn. I truly believe that our true commemoration of “father’s day” is in time, that it is not a day, and perhaps it is not (at least not completely) today, but rather it will be placed in the human beings that we have contributed to form, how will they face life? how will they treat others? will they be autonomous or dependent? complaining or grateful? constructive or destructive? loving or toxic? sincere or liars? fearful or courageous?
We can tell them a thousand things, give great speeches, point out over and over again the “recipes for success”, but if they do not see it in us, it will be worthless. That is why I believe that the best gift for this day is that we ourselves, fathers, give ourselves a “gift card” for our personal growth, to be better people, more aware, more honest, kinder, that we enhance our ability to create, to contribute to others, to act correctly even when it seems to be more expensive than the bill, that we can use our gift to improve our habits, correct our shortcomings, recognize the limitations and not settle for “what there is”, so that our children see that it is always possible for things to be better.
On this Father’s Day, I tell you as a “fellow” dad, we are invited to give ourselves a journey that transforms us in a genuine way, not that changes accessories out of the skin, but that truly manages to make us so unrecognizable that our children know, not because we said it, but because we show them day by day, that they (our children) are worth so much and have so many talents inside, that they can get wherever they want, that they only need to know what they really are, and then get down to work, because every work of art takes time, and every artist goes his own way, in order to conquer this path of love and dedication, where we can also honor the memory of the father we had and the one we can be.