Effective, affective and superficial communication

Something that people do permanently, is related to communication. Regardless of what we do or stop doing, the context in which we are, or whether we do it in a spoken way or in the deepest silence, we are constantly communicating and communication is part of our life.

However, although we do it at all times, they did not teach us how to do it, but we learned with the people with whom we share and grow up. That is, we learn by imitation. We do not always have people who do it in a good way and that is why communication is a challenge and impacts so strongly on our relationships and our achievements, since it is through this very human act that we are able to transmit and connect with other people.

Much has been said about communication and much has been written, different models seek to explain how it works, the types of communication and the roles within a communicative act.

In this article I want to share with you three types of communication that mark our interactions and that can help us improve our way of relating to ourselves and those around us. I am referring to effective, affective and superficial communication.

We have heard a lot about effective communication. There is no communication, leadership or teamwork workshop in which this term is not mentioned, although many times it is not so clear what it is, or how to achieve it.

Effective communication is essentially the ability to state our points about something clearly, so that other people understand it and can focus on the ideas we are raising, therefore, it is focused on talking about “something”, about ” what happens ”, so that in this way we can focus, agree on points and mobilize. It is a more pragmatic and “productive” communication, which is why it is so often mentioned in work environments.

On the other hand, we have affective communication, which incorporates other dimensions of internal skills. Communication affects does not talk about “what happens” but talks about “what happens to us”, that is, it opens the internal states, thoughts, emotions, needs. This type of communication is fundamental since it allows us to really connect between people and from that connection find new ways to face needs and achieve our creative potential.

Much is said about effectiveness, but it is forgotten that without affectivity it becomes dehumanized and, therefore, not sustainable over time.

Another communication is what we could call superficial. Which is, essentially, an avoidance communication, of resistance. It is when you want to avoid both what happens and what happens to us, where you do not want a real connection, both talking about things that do not involve anything (distractors), and also acting as a listening that really does not exist.

This type of communication disconnects us from ourselves and from other people, having very negative consequences for our relationships, our internal processes and the desire to achieve things in our lives. Unfortunately, many people live with this communication and do not even realize it.

All types of communication have a function, they require internal skills and we can train them to improve them, know when to use them and be able to promote them in our environments and relationships.

Which one are you going to use today?

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