The idea of win-lose as a dynamic to build relationships, businesses and human spaces already seems “old” to us. For many years we have been listening to the need to move to win-win spaces, in more balanced relationships, that can be projected over time and that, finally, contribute to all the parties involved really feeling that they are making progress in what they are looking for. .
However, although we can understand this, listen to it and repeat it over and over again, the truth is that it does not happen on most occasions. We continue to find again and again the idea of building essentially transactional links, where I earn what I want and give you something that I have, and that many times I don’t even know (and I’m not interested) if it will really help you to be better or conquer your own goals.
This disposable and superficial logic, a reflection of the times in which we live and the way we relate to ourselves and the people around us, is expressed in the most diverse instances of social life. The look of “what can I get for myself” is what finally generates greater resistance, increases mistrust and limits the possibility of building real opportunities.
Personally, win-win seems appropriate, more fair and horizontal. However, I prefer to look for win-win-win, that is, to get creative in the way we do things so that my counterpart can win, I win and together generate enough surplus energy, knowledge, time, resources, etc. , which allows us to help third parties, which some see as support for the environment or the positive externalities of projects or businesses.
Today I was in a meeting with a person from the board of directors of a human resources association in a Latin American country, and I saw, forcefully and without nuance, how he embodied the win-lose look. A philosophy deeply rooted in the scarcity perspective, that everything is “for me” and typical of the blindness (or laziness) of finding new opportunities when two parties meet.
Every human bond has the potential to open the way to the divine, to a friendship, to creativity, to new ventures, to generous and selfless collaboration, among many other things.
Personally, it seems urgent to me to change our perspective, leave pettiness behind and shake our minds to find new ways in which we can really do something that contributes to the lives of as many people as possible, not to feed our own egos, not to make a better business, but to enhance the talents that each person has and use them for the right thing, to do a greater good, simply because we can do it and never again with the calculator in hand.
When we execute win-lose, we always ultimately lose. If we play win-win, we build symmetrical relationships that are good, although not to their full potential. But if we move forward with win-win-win, we can transform our lives and that of many people, turning our abilities into a talent that the world around us truly needs and enjoys.