Emotional intelligence is a fundamental issue in our personal development and, from there, in all areas of our lives. There are countless studies that show how the higher the level of emotional intelligence, the better things turn out for us in life. We are able to have better relationships, better resolve situations that arise in our lives, make assertive decisions, feel more fulfilled, among many other things that gives us to be more aware and connected with what happens to us, putting this information at the service of our ideas and actions.
There are three basic elements that we must consider when we talk about emotional intelligence: what we think, what we feel and what we do. Many times people have a certain clarity about what we think in relation to a situation, a person or something we have in mind, we can perhaps identify that we think something is easy or difficult, that a person is kind or conflictive, etc. Being aware of what we think about things also helps us to recognize those ideas that mobilize, motivate or create certain emotional states and action.
The second factor is what we feel. The emotions that are generated in us from certain experiences or situations, what we feel when watching a movie, meeting a loved one or having a difficult conversation. What we feel about our job performance, our life decisions or the way we are facing current challenges. All experiences make us feel things, yet we are not always aware of what we are feeling, or able to recognize those feelings and use them as valuable information in our day-to-day lives. To the extent that we are able to recognize more nuances and dimensions of emotions, then we will have a greater repertoire to be able to be more intelligent in this dimension, more aware and empathetic, and thus move to the next step.
Finally, actions are very important. Our behavior is what brings us the results we get in life. If you don’t like what you have gotten or are getting in a particular context, then review your behavior and you will find much of what explains your results. When our repertoire of thought and emotion is expressed in a reduced form of unassertive behavior, then we get bad results.
Thus, having greater emotional intelligence means being able to recognize our thoughts and emotions, using them in our behaviors in a broader and more appropriate way, in order to achieve better results in our relationships, projects, conflict resolution, etc. It is not to control our emotions, but the possibility of being able to manage them and use them as an input for daily life.
The challenge of becoming more emotionally intelligent every day is something that we should all take very seriously in order to achieve a happier life, the ability to make better decisions and have the internal tools that allow us to move forward to a life with more meaning, satisfaction and integrity. Do you accept the challenge?